Why Being Nice Is Actually Bad for You

How to learn say "no"? There're times when you're exhausted and all you want is just to take a well-deserved rest. But at the last minute, somebody asks you to help them with some "super important thing". In fact, being too nice to people can be really bad for you. For example, those who like to please others tend more often end up in toxic relationships...
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TIMESTAMPS:
You feel responsible for other people's feelings 0:46
You’re always looking for the approval of others 1:38
You avoid conflicts at all costs 2:29
You keep attracting the wrong people in your life 3:13
You’re constantly apologizing 3:57
You hide your feelings all the time 4:30
You feel resentment after agreeing to do something 5:04
You put aside your own needs and desires 6:07
How to change your situation for the better 6:45
Music by Epidemic Sound
SUMMARY:
- Each person is responsible for their own emotions, and it's not your job to make everyone happy.
- It’s no secret that we like to be liked. But some people can be seriously dependent on this and forget about their own thoughts, beliefs, and wishes.
- Confrontations are just a part of life because it’s how we really get to know each other, expand our views, and learn to understand other people’s point of view. If you’re afraid of it, then it means you don’t know how to stand up for yourself or how to defend your beliefs.
- People who like to please others tend to end up in unhealthy relationships. They don’t cut off communication with a friend who always asks them for a favor but never ever returns it.
- There are people who apologize even when they’re guilty of nothing. They keep blaming themselves for basically everything that goes wrong, even if it’s absolutely not in their power to control or change it.
- You can’t form deep relationships with people unless you’re willing to speak up when need be and say that your feelings are hurt. Denying that you’re angry, sad, embarrassed, or disappointed keeps a relationship superficial.
- You don’t really wanna do this favor for someone – you’re simply doing it out of obligation. It’s a fear that if you say no, then it’ll upset the person who’s asked you for help.
- You should take care of yourself too! It doesn't mean that you have to be selfish. It simply means knowing when to put your needs first to avoid feeling emotionally and even sometimes physically drained.
- Never forget that people treat us the way we let them. Having healthy boundaries means that no one will take advantage of you anymore.
- People usually look for approval from others when their sense of self-worth is low, when they think that they have to go out of their way to be worthy of attention and love.
- You can be generous without letting others use you. You can be kind without coming across as a pushover. You can be well-liked without having to do something for someone first.
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