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How Your Childhood Affects Your Relationships

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Why don't your romantic relationships work out? Psychologists believe the main reason lies in your childhood. The thing is that your childhood experiences create certain love patterns. Experts describe 5 main love styles you can develop, thanks to your early years.
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TIMESTAMPS:
The Pleaser 0:53
The Avoider 2:39
The Vacillator 4:15
The Controller 5:56
The Victim 7:45
Music by Epidemic Sound
SUMMARY:
- Grown-up pleasers have difficulties saying no, establishing clear personal boundaries, and expressing their true feelings. In romantic relationships, they give their all to their partners, once again, doing everything they possibly can to make them happy.
- Avoiders are highly logical. They enjoy their space and almost never get emotional. Even more so, they feel really uncomfortable when someone else shows strong emotions. The main problem in their relationships is the absence of emotional connection.
- Vacillators strive to find the stable love they never received in their childhood and make one crucial mistake while doing it: They idealize their partner. Every time a vacillator falls in love, they jump into the relationship right away, thinking they’ve found their perfect soul mate.
- Controllers view the world from 2 perspectives: They're either in control themselves or they're being controlled by others. They don't like stepping out of their comfort zone or expressing their emotions and vulnerability. The only feeling that isn't weak is anger, so they prefer to use it as a weapon to remain in power.
- In their adult life, victims become very adaptable and prefer to go with the flow. They can be described as introverted, shy, and self-conscious. Of course, all this doesn't help them in their romantic love at all. They have no idea what life is like without abuse and violence, so they tend to go for domineering, controlling, and even cruel partners.
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