How to Be His #1 Priority, Not an Option

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How to Be His #1 Priority, Not an Option
Have you ever been with a guy and felt like he was just not treating you as his priority? Do you invest more into the relationship and hope that he's going to reciprocate or do you pull back and create a little bit of space and then hope that he's going to close that space and want to make you his priority? You don't know what to do. So in this video right now, I'm gonna give my relationship advice on how to be a priority and absolutely not be an option.

Now, when it comes to being a guy's priority, there are really two different stages in dating and relationships where I want to address this problem, and the way that I will answer this question will differ depending on what stage you're in. Now, the first stage is that you are just talking to this guy, and that means that you are not in an exclusive relationship with him. You are going to just be an option, which leads me to an incredibly important point which is never commit to a man unless he is explicitly committed to you, and, if you're in this talking situationship with a guy and he's not making you his priority, you really have one option at this particular stage which is to explore other options.

Now let's explore the second stage of dating and relationships which is what I call little love step number six, and once you get to this stage, you are in an explicitly committed, exclusive relationship with a guy and it's natural that at this stage, you both are going to start prioritizing each other more because, at this stage, you're exclusive with each other. You're not seeing anyone else, and when it comes to love, you are each other's focus, but it's really important to get real once you are in an exclusive relationship. If you're feeling like you are not a guy's priority, it's important to understand what are his priorities? So let's dive into a few, shall we?

Number one priority usually is work. Well, this is perfectly natural for a guy to dive into his professional career, especially when he's in a new relationship. What tends to happen is guys get into a new relationship, and they start to think to themselves, wow, I am no longer this single guy who's just free to do whatever I want. If this relationship works out, I need to get my !@#* together. So if it is a work issue, then just have a conversation with him and try to carve out at least one night a week where it's date night, where you are completely prioritizing each other and you're not checking your phone, he's not checking his work stuff, and you are just focusing on you and the relationship.

Now, another scenario that I hear from a lot of my Love Accelerator clients is when a guy is prioritizing his other friends or even his hobbies like golf or something like that instead of spending time with her. Whenever someone gets into a new relationship, that requires change, and change can sometimes be hard for some people and it takes certain people a little bit of time to adapt to a new relationship. When a guy goes from being completely single, free to do whatever he wants, to a relationship where he really can't do whatever it is he wants whenever he wants, that takes a little bit of transitionary time. So give him some of that time to spend with his friends and of course, spend with you, but as time moves on, the trend line should be in the right direction where he's starting to spend more and more of his time and energy with you, and if that's not happening, now it's time to actually have, again, what we call courageous communication. Sitting down with him and getting pretty clear about how much time you want to be spending with each other and being realistic about what it is that you want.

So when you're not feeling like a priority when you're with a guy, what I want to caution you from doing is to try and always close the gap and try to always get closer and rather than do that, just be a little bit more strategic about how you handle these situations. So my dating advice is to try to put yourself in his shoes and get crystal clear about what expectations you have in a relationship and what will truly make you happy. You don't want to force a man's hand to make you his priority and try to make him miss you. You want him to want you to be his priority. Make him value you. You want him to just want it and be committed to it. You don't want to force his hand.