7 Red Flags When Dating a Divorced Man

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7 Red Flags When Dating a Divorced Man
Let's jump into the seven red flags to look out for when dating a divorced man. Number one is if he's using the word separated, that means he's still married. Do not allow yourself to get emotionally involved through the man who's only separated. He needs to work out the logistical ending of his marriage before he jumps into anything really serious moving forward. I can't tell you how many women get sucked into a relationship many times is just a rebound with a separated man, only to find out that he's still married and actually working on his relationship or that he's going to remain married but still separated for many years to follow and he never plans on getting remarried. So anytime you hear the word separated, I want you to translate that into I'm not available for anything serious.

The second red flag is when a divorced man wants to immediately jump into a very serious relationship right away. Another pattern I noticed with divorced men is that because they were married previously, they are only comfortable with relationships that are very, very serious very quickly. Like they are not comfortable with the dating process of just getting to know each other a little bit and this is where I really want you to be pacing their relationship. Slow it down and make sure that you don't jump in too quickly.

Red flag number three is that he has a negative attitude towards love. My mother has always said that divorce is truly one of the most traumatic things you will ever go through in your life and it's not uncommon for someone to come out of a divorce with a negative attitude towards love and thinking, I don't wanna ever go through that ever again. So don't be surprised if he's in the headspace where he never wants to get married again and if he says that you need to take him for his word. Don't be surprised if he's just in a headspace where he's not able to trust you, he's not able to actually open his heart to you because he is still feeling the baggage from his past relationship.

The fourth red flag is that he has no custody of his children whatsoever. Now, if he has zero custody of his children, it doesn't guarantee that there's a major problem there, it's just a red flag because you're going to wanna explore what's really going on here. Typically, if he's a good guy or a good dad, there's at least shared custody in the relationship in the raising of his children and if he has little involvement in his children's life or certainly no involvement in his children's life, maybe there's something deep and dark about him that you don't know about quite yet. So you really wanna find out what actually went on there, so you can actually have a clear picture of this guy.

Red flag number five is that he's depressed or has low self-esteem. Like I said earlier, divorce is traumatic and it can absolutely destroy your self-esteem. It can make you feel like you are not worthy of a relationship, especially if there's infidelity in the relationship on the woman's side but just remember, it's not your job to fix this man. It's not your job to try and bring him to a healthy place in his love life. He needs to find that path on his own, and I want you to avoid wasting too much time trying to rehabilitate this guy when you could be keeping your options open to other people.

Red flag number six is that his ex-wife is still a huge part of his life. Now I get it, if he has children with his ex-wife, they need to make sure they have an active relationship and maybe even a cordial friendship but if you're finding that his ex-wife is a constant part of his life—texting her on a constant basis. He's always seeing her more than probably would be appropriate, then keep your eyes wide open. It is still possible that he might be trying to win her back.

Finally, red flag number seven is that you're just not feeling any type of emotional connection with this guy. Sometimes when a man goes through a divorce, he just becomes so emotionally broken that he's just not available to be able to connect with a woman. And if you're at a point in your life where you are ready for a good healthy long-term relationship, you need to only make yourself available to emotionally available men. Now, those are the biggest red flags I really want you to be looking for when you're dating a divorced man and if you don't see any of those red flags, then great, go for it. Just because a man was divorced doesn't mean he's disabled for relationships and, in fact, he actually may have learned a lot from that first marriage and he can bring those learnings to future marriage. He may be at a point in his life where he has more clarity than he's ever had in his entire life about what he wants in a relationship and in a woman.